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$27,000 wedding

17 Responses to “$27,000 wedding”

1. 76Chick Says:
   April 5th, 2008 at 03:17 pm 1207408665
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   We didn't even have a "party". $25.00 for the chapel. lol.

2. disneysteve Says:
   April 5th, 2008 at 03:18 pm 1207408723
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   Julie, I know it sounds like a lot of money, but when you add it all up, it really isn't hard to spend that much and way more. We're in the midst of planning our daughter's Bat Mitzvah in September. In fact, as I type this, the printer is running making pictures that will be part of the centerpieces. Even though we are making our own invitations, place cards and centerpieces, buying our own liquor (instead of paying the caterer to do it) and doing various other frugal things, the affair will easily cost over $25,000. Dinner alone is $61.00 per adult/$38.00 per child plus tax and tip and that's for a buffet meal. We have about 175 people on our guest list. If everyone were to show up (we certainly hope not), that would be over $10,000 right there. Add in room rental, a DJ, a photographer, postage, decorations, dresses, shoes, hair, and all the other miscellaneous expenses that go along with an affair that size, and it isn't at all hard to see where those figures come from.
   
   If we had to do this multiple times for other kids, we'd probably scale it back a lot, but since she is our one and only, we want to have a nice affair and invite all the people we care about. Sure, we could invite just immediate family and take them all out for a nice dinner afterwards and just spend a couple thousand, but this is something we've looked forward to for 12 years now and that just isn't the kind of event we want. Nothing wrong with doing it that way, especially if money is an issue. But we've planned and saved for this for many years.
   
   And yes, we'll happily do it all again when she gets married.

3. Amber Says:
   April 5th, 2008 at 03:40 pm 1207410009
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   I am sure it was over 50k which is crazy. And these days the church is charging you to get married at their church. The problem is people are trying to impress others. My sister had a small wedding only 2 bridesmaides and it was beautiful. My other friend had over 24 people in the wedding party (over 24) and it looked like a circus
   I don't have a problem with people spending on special occasions when they can afford it but it is the ones who can't who ends up in divorce court

4. Ima saver Says:
   April 5th, 2008 at 04:45 pm 1207413902
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   I know steve, that you have planned and saved for this since her birth! I just don't think it is right to start married life in so much debt.

5. disneysteve Says:
   April 5th, 2008 at 05:28 pm 1207416522
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   Why would you assume a 27K wedding means the couple is in debt? We got married almost 16 years ago. I don't know exactly how much our affair cost because we didn't pay for it. Her parents paid for most of it. My parents paid for some. It was a large and fancy affair that was probably in that 25K range back then. We didn't have any debt associated with it (nor did our parents - they paid out of savings).

6. nance Says:
   April 5th, 2008 at 06:28 pm 1207420097
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   I think this is always a personal decision. If you can afford it, then go for it. It is the family that gets a second mortgage on the house to pay for a wedding they can't afford, and then later resent the debt, that is misguided.
   My daughter's both had lovely weddings, that were catered buffets, but we kept it in a range we could afford. They had trust funds, from their dad, and they paid for part of the expense themselves, too. If we had more to spend, we probably would have spent more. Also we have several kids, so that changes the equation.
   My husband and I got married at home, and had an open house, buffet,and an open bar. We stated "no gifts" on the invitations, because it was a second marriage for each of us. It was very nice, and rather inexpensive, and everyone was relaxed and had a great time. It was just a nice party.

7. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:
   April 5th, 2008 at 07:25 pm 1207423519
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   I do not even believe that $27,000 figure. I think the number comes from some association of wedding planners or wedding caterers or florists, or something. They do not work with _all_ couples getting married in order to get good averages. A lot of couples handle all arrangements among themselves, family, and friends and do not spend anything like $27,000.
   
   Those professional associations have a stake in making people think that their weddings will not even be average if they don't spend $27,000. And who wants a less than average wedding? Don't you want a wedding unlike any other? Something truly unique? You'll have to spend more than $27,000, right! *Ca-ching*!
   
   I haven't been in person to a wedding in four years, but I see lots of people share internet photos of weddings in the families and they tell about the handmade this-and-that that they themselves made for the wedding...the DJ cousins that handled music...the friend and church violinist who played beautifully a the ceremony, donating their services...the reception in the church basement or volunteer fire fighters hall...the dress that the bride herself made...the veil that the sister made...the cake that was bought undecorated from a fine bakery and then decorated by a neighbor who used to have her own small bake shop.
   
   I read about outdoor baseball & barbecue receptions, potluck receptions at someone's home, even surfing receptions!
   
   I think many people do all sorts of things to have great weddings that do not put anyone into hock or require $27,000. Many don't even spend $2700. That $27,000 is bunk.

8. Carolina Bound Says:
   April 5th, 2008 at 07:38 pm 1207424316
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   I, for one, wish the pendulum would swing back to smaller, more personal weddings. I really don't enjoy going to the extravaganzas. They seem hollow and stressful to me. But maybe the people on the inside are really enjoying them. I don't know. It's a lot of money for a few hours.

9. disneysteve Says:
   April 5th, 2008 at 07:40 pm 1207424451
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   I think there is a great deal of geographic variation, as well as socio-economic variation. In an urban area like where we live, we are much more likely to be invited to a black-tie, sit-down affair professionally catered than you are to a American Legion hall casual affair with a pot-luck dinner. Nothing wrong with either one. I've been to many of each type and had fun at all of them. But the low key and low cost ones are definitely not the norm around here.
   
   And if you head up to north Jersey or NYC area, 27K would be the budget wedding. An average wedding around there is probably more in the 50K-100K range.

10. Ima saver Says:
    April 5th, 2008 at 08:21 pm 1207426872
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    Well, I live out in the boondocks, so not many fancy weddings around here.

11. nance Says:
    April 5th, 2008 at 09:27 pm 1207430833
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    I'm sorry, but $100,000. for a wedding seems obscene to me. Just whom are they trying to impress? The stress from planning such an extravaganza would be enough to turn any bride into "bridezilla".

12. disneysteve Says:
    April 5th, 2008 at 11:24 pm 1207437896
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    nance - The higher price is partly, if not largely, due to a high cost of living in those areas. The same type of DJ that might be $2,000 around here might be $5,000 up there. A meal that would be $50/person here might be $80/person there. So it isn't necessarily that they are doing more. They're just paying more.

13. Broken Arrow Says:
    April 6th, 2008 at 05:40 am 1207460434
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    Wow... I just can't imagine myself spending 27k on a wedding, even if it is considered "budget". But I guess that kind of attitude is also why I am divorced and single.

14. SingleGuyMoney Says:
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:16 pm 1207570570
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    Broken Arrow - I totally agree with you. I think those numbers are outrageous. If you have it to spend, go for it but not for me. I haven't been married but when I do, it probably won't be anywhere near that amount.

15. sillyoleme Says:
    April 10th, 2008 at 04:58 pm 1207846705
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    I'm a little on both sides... BF & I certainly won't have the resources to pay for a 100K wedding, or 50K or whatever. Neither will our parents, and we're both pretty independent, so we wouldn't let them pay for it all even if they could.
    
    However, I do like to think that all the scrimping and saving and frugalness that I am trying to get accustomed to is for a purpose, and for me, that purpose is so that I feel okay about splurging on special occassions. The biggest special occassion I can think of is the day that I'll marry BF, after 4 to 5 years of serious dating, and hard work for everything we have.
    
    To be honest, and this is kind of scary because I'm working hard to pay down my debt right now, it doesn't bother either of us to think about going into debt for a wedding. Obviously not 50K in debt, and we'll pay for as much of it upfront as we can, but in the end, 20 years from now, I want to look back at the memories and pictures and know that it was a once in a lifetime event, and we had what we wanted.
    
    No need to go crazy, but I'm not going to have regrets about it either.

16. disneysteve Says:
    April 11th, 2008 at 01:54 am 1207878849
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    sillyoleme - That's how we feel about the Bat Mitzvah. We've only got one kid so we're only doing this once. We want it to be an affair to remember though not one so crazy expensive that we go broke in the process. No debt, though. Fortunately, we can afford what we're doing.

17. sillyoleme Says:
    April 13th, 2008 at 01:41 am 1208050882
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    Yea, if I could postpone the wedding until after me & BF have been "married" for 20 years and have enough money saved to pay for it out right, I would... but that is counter-intuitive of course. And you just can't have a re-do, so we'll try to have what we want the first time.

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