Depressed, yes that is how I am feeling this morning. I am not the type of person who feels depressed very often.
I did not have a perfect life, but who does? I am so grateful for all the wonderful things that I have in my life.
So, I hope some of you can send me some cherry thoughts.
When we got home last night there was a call on the answer machine from FIL.
Of course, my dh called him right back. It seems that his house has a bad leak and he needs a whole new roof, not just new shingles. It will cost $12,000.
Of course, he does not have the money. (I don't know why, they have been toHawaii 4 times the past 6 years)
DH has 2 younger brothers, but the youngest is a real bum and probably does not have $50.
The other brother has his own tile business, lives in a lake front house, has lots of big vehicles, owns 5 horses and vacations all the time.
Ok, my dh said he would give his father half the money for the roof. FIL says no way does son #2 have the money for half. Dh has to pay for the entire new roof.
There is no way FIL can ever pay us back. He is 85 and he and his girlfriend live on social security only.
So, I am depressed that I work to save so hard and now I have to basically give away $12,000 to people that don't try to save anything.
I know you all probably will understand. We clip coupons, take surveys, do anything we can to save a few dollars. To give our money to a good cause makes us happy, but to give it away to people who squander their money everyday on lottery tickets and cruises makes me feel depressed.
I know, I will get over it and I should just be happy that I have the money to give!
Depressed
September 22nd, 2007 at 12:54 pm
September 22nd, 2007 at 01:13 pm 1190466827
Why is the roof so expensive? Have they obtained other quotes? I hope they're not being scammed because they're over 80yrs old.
September 22nd, 2007 at 01:20 pm 1190467240
September 22nd, 2007 at 01:27 pm 1190467661
Not only that, but 12k is a massive amount of money to me.
As for the bright side, we all know that you and your husband swooped in and saved the day. You are the hero in this story.
Or how about this?
September 22nd, 2007 at 01:48 pm 1190468918
You and your dh are good people and although it's frustrating to give up your hard earned money you are the better people for doing so and taking care of them.
September 22nd, 2007 at 02:20 pm 1190470833
September 22nd, 2007 at 03:02 pm 1190473379
Our new roof cost just under $12,000 this year here in California, 1650 square foot house plus garage (50 year shingles).
Your FIL must own the Duplex right? This may sound really mean, but get a lein on it so you get reimbursed when his estate is settled or get the cheapest roof you can. Call the roofing companies yourself and ask to have the bill submitted directly to you if you are paying it.
Good luck with this. I am sorry you are having to deal with it, but you and DH are good people.
September 22nd, 2007 at 03:24 pm 1190474675
September 22nd, 2007 at 04:01 pm 1190476869
Our new roof cost just under $12,000 this year here in California, 1650 square foot house plus garage (50 year shingles).
Your FIL must own the Duplex right? This may sound really mean, but get a lein on it so you get reimbursed when his estate is settled or get the cheapest roof you can. Call the roofing companies yourself and ask to have the bill submitted directly to you if you are paying it.
September 22nd, 2007 at 04:23 pm 1190478199
Things freely given like this will come back to you twofold!!
September 22nd, 2007 at 04:34 pm 1190478893
September 22nd, 2007 at 04:35 pm 1190478950
As to the lien..well he might be in debt up to his ears to pay for Hawaii..you might not want to be financially attached to him at all.
September 22nd, 2007 at 05:01 pm 1190480495
Others have given some great suggestions.
Here is one more suggestion: What if, instead of giving them the cash outright, you and your DH took the time to help your FIL come up with the funds himself. Specifically, what if you helped them get a REVERSE MORTGAGE on their house? For someone in your FIL's situation, with no cash assets but equity in a home, a reverse mortgage may be a useful thing. This is of course assuming that he hasn't already taken a reverse mortgage and used it to finance those vacations.
This might tick of your BIL, because if your FIL gets a reverse mortgage it may end up wiping out any inheritance your BIL would get, but who cares? That is not your problem.
Good luck to you and your DH! We're all thinking of you.
September 22nd, 2007 at 05:13 pm 1190481196
On a cheery note - you are doing a good thing. I have to think it will all catch up with your BILs in the end. Living well is the best revenge, and it is obvious you are living better than your BILs.
September 22nd, 2007 at 05:22 pm 1190481723
I guess you can just be grateful you have the means to help. I agree - ask to be billed directly, or get a cheaper room to help them through.
((HUGS))
September 22nd, 2007 at 07:14 pm 1190488489
Is this a done deal? What I mean is, has your husband already decided to give his father the money? Why not just have him call his own brother (the one that is doing so well he can keep $horses$) and discuss some options?
I like the lien idea, BTW.
September 22nd, 2007 at 07:26 pm 1190489214
What I hate is that they just assume we will do it and never offer to try and pay us back a little something. In the meantime BIL and wife spend a week at Disney World every few months or take weeks off to fly somewhere to fish. My dh works 12 hours a day, 7 days a week and i try to save every way that I can.
September 22nd, 2007 at 07:37 pm 1190489824
September 23rd, 2007 at 12:57 am 1190509034
September 23rd, 2007 at 01:15 am 1190510137
September 23rd, 2007 at 01:48 am 1190512086
Another fear - that's just the estimate. If they have a cost overrun, are you expected to shell out of that too?
Perhaps this solution. Because the GA real estate market is slowing down, times are tough for you too. How about offering 9-10K because that's all you can afford? Maybe, just maybe, it might cause the grasshopper to think twice before assuming that the ant will bail them out completely. More importantly, at least then you have a little bit of control over the situation.
Its not perfect - it does require telling a little white lie with conviction and a certain amount of gusto. And it is a little wicked.
September 23rd, 2007 at 02:48 am 1190515688
I'm curious why DH feels like he has to pay for the entire thing when there are other living, breathing family members around? Has he considered sticking to his offer to pay for half saying that's all you have available to contribute and good luck coming up with the other $6000?
In fact, if I was one of three siblings who own the house, I would send 1/3 of the money and have the other two cough up their shares, using loans, if necessary.
What is DH afraid would happen if he decided not to save the day? Honestly, people figure out solutions when someone sets a limit or says no - it's just a hard thing to let them do so.
Unsolicited advice aside, I am truly sorry to hear that you are faced with this dilemma. Good luck.
September 23rd, 2007 at 03:03 am 1190516617
September 23rd, 2007 at 03:55 am 1190519719
I don't know much about horses, other than they are really expensive...couldn't BIL get rid of his stable to pay his 1/3??...I really don't think DH should pay for the whole thing and, if it comes to that, he really should think about some sort of document stating that he WILL be paid back for 2/3 of it!..they're abusing you guys!...((hugs))
September 23rd, 2007 at 02:51 pm 1190559110
Now that you have explained more, there is no way I would pay to take care of that duplex alone. If it is not kept up, it is going to effect everyone's investement/inheritance.
September 23rd, 2007 at 04:19 pm 1190564377
September 23rd, 2007 at 10:23 pm 1190586205
September 24th, 2007 at 02:31 am 1190601061
I'm not sure how your DH feels about helping his dad out...but hopefully he is in a good place with it...I know right now I am grateful for everything I can do for my dad while I still have him...I completely understand that you both have worked long and hard for what you have...I hope that you both find a way to make an unfortunate situation work for the best for everyone. You are good people to even consider shouldering the financial responsibility.
September 24th, 2007 at 08:16 pm 1190664977
You're in a tough spot. I wouldn't be happy about it either, but homebody had an excellent idea, so you can reimbursed by the estate. It's only fair.