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Home > Now, I have been poor!

Now, I have been poor!

November 12th, 2008 at 07:16 pm

I had someone on another forum say they thought it was terrible for me to go to a "poor man's dinner" party. They said it sounded like a bunch of rich people getting together to make fun of poor people.
I think what the hosts of the party were thinking was that the economy has taken such a hit; everyone has lost money in stocks, mutual funds, roths, ira's, etc.
So we are all poorer these days, but we are NOT making fun of poor people.
Heck, I don't know anyone who has been poorer than me.

My father died before I turned 10 and his retirement check for serving 32 years in the army, ended. In stead my mother started getting a check from the VA (veteran's admin.) in the amount of $25 a month.
Imagine 3 people (myself, my mother and my older sister)living on $25 a month? That was for food, phone, electricity, heat, gasoline, insurance etc.

That is exactly what we did for over 2 years til my mother found a job. We barely had enough to eat. There was never any snack food or soda to drink.
At age 12, I got a job and worked full time during the summer and holidays and on weekends when I went to school.
My mother was never able to buy me anything. I bought my own clothes, shoes, school supplies , etc. ( I earned $3 for a 9 hour day)

I actually am glad that I had a rough childhood cause it taught me to be frugal at a young age and I just kept on being frugal. We have never earned the big bucks, but we have always been big savers. No, I will never make fun of someone being poor.

35 Responses to “Now, I have been poor!”

  1. merch Says:
    1226518242

    So, we can't have theme parties now?

    This is one of the problems with today's society. Everyone is oversensitive. Everyone is looking how something could be taking as a slight against another group. I mean we can't have Christmas parties because they might offend. Because of these oversensitive people and me not wanting to appear insensitive, my winter solstice cards will be:

    "Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, Happy winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all.


    (Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)"

    Just kidding, my CHRISTMAS cards will say MERRY CHRISTMAS. Even on the cards going to my non-Christian friends.

  2. Analise Says:
    1226518780

    I never thought the party was aimed at making fun of poor people. Rather it seemed you were just trying to keep a sense of humor about the fact that we've all been hit by the recession sledge hammer, and yes, we are all a bit poorer. Who hasn't been affected? Some people are definitely WAY too touchy!

  3. JJ76 Says:
    1226519273

    What a great idea for a theme party. =)

    Merch, love the card idea... hehe!! Wink

  4. gruntina Says:
    1226520525

    I agree with Merch how people in today's society can be oversensitive.

    But I have to admit.. I rather call this particular theme dinner party to be "a frugal man's dinner" rather than a "poor man's dinner".

    It has a more positive ring to it.

  5. Broken Arrow Says:
    1226523604

    Ah, someone from the other side of the fence chimed in. Thank you for adding your additional input into this matter....

    If the question is, "Is this party in poor taste?" The answer, in all fairness, depends on who you ask. I'm sure some will think so, and some will not.

    However, if the question is, "Did Ima and her friends deliberately throw a party in order to make fun of poor people?" then I suspect the answer will be a straight-forward, "No."

    Of course, it isn't wrong to be offended. We all have the right to be, if that is our opinion.

    However, in light of the details from both sides, I do not believe they did this to be mean-spirited. Sounds to me they were just having fun with a theme party.

  6. Koppur Says:
    1226524816

    Oh Ima, we know you would never make fun of someone for something like not having money! I thought the poor mans dinner sounded like fun and a like a way to celebrate frugality! Some people are just too sensitive.

  7. merch Says:
    1226525385

    Nothing like making a mountain out of a mole hill.

    Really, where will this end? What does "poor person" want? Even though I would gander that the person is using poor to misrepresent themselves. I mean that I doubt this person is actual poor and is making a mockery of poor people.

    I find this highly offensive. You couldn't use a neutral screen name or one that would describe you better. You had to play the class card?

    Sorry, just tring to make my mountain as big as yours.


  8. Ima saver Says:
    1226525395

    I had nothing to do with how the house was decorated and I did not dress in rags. I wore jeans which is what I always wear. I did not throw the party, I just went and took a covered dish. The whole idea is that most people have been hurt in this economy and have lost money in their retirement plans, mutual funds, etc.
    I really wish you would quit stalking me every where I go.
    I really don't need your sympathy, poor person. I went to three parties this past two weeks. How many did you get invited too?

  9. Caoineag Says:
    1226526795

    Some people just need to chill. Sorry you are having so much trouble Ima.

  10. campfrugal Says:
    1226529154

    Ima: Some people just wake up hateful and spiteful and just really don't know how to be happy. I did notice that another person left a pretty abusive message on another one of your entries. It is probably the same person, just changing her blog name to represent what she is trying to accomplish. Whatever that is. Anyways, if this person is stalking you in this blog and other blogs or other areas of your life, you should report it to the authorities and to the management/owner of this blog and the other blogs you belong to. "Poor Person" is clearly trying to be a threat and should be dealt with.

  11. Ima saver Says:
    1226531143

    Yes, she is stalking me in several forums. She even started a topic on a forum that I never post on because it is such an abusive forum. The members can change their user names at any time and can say anything they want about you. I don't know how to report anything so I guess I should just stop posting. She cannot deal with anyone that enjoys saving money like we do.

  12. Apprentice Fun-Frugalist Says:
    1226538036

    Whatever about finances.... poor person is obviously deficient in manners, integrity and character.

    She appears to be envious of Ima's greater character and perhaps greater hard-saved wealth.

    She also appears to be a bit of a bully. I hate bullies.... and it is so easy for them to operate in these kind of anonymous forums...

    Ima... be strong and don't let her deflect you from your normal activities.... :-)

    Definitely report her if you can.

  13. Wonderlake653 Says:
    1226544450

    The ignorant fool who put a judgment on you obviously doesn't know a thing about you or your story. I know exactly what you meant in an earlier posting about being thrilled to earn $12 in interest because you know exactly what it is like to wait tables for a 10 hour shift and make $12 in tips on a Sunday. Sister-girl-friend, I know exactly that same feeling too. Though I didn't learn as quickly as you about saving, your story has changed my view on my own money and earnings profoundly. As I mentioned once before, I will never disrespect my money that I work for. The problem with people like that person is that they have always had things handed to them. They are just envious. It is evident that you save, monitor and watch every dime. Thanks Ima, you Rule!!!

  14. cptacek Says:
    1226552045

    If I was having a "poor man's party", I would dress up in rags, decorate the house with bare light bulbs, duck tape to patch the furniture, drink out of jelly jars. How else would you dress up for a theme party like this?

    If I was having a "white trash party" (which I have gone to before, and it was FUN) I would wear tight, faded, lowriding jeans with a "tramp stamp" on my back right above the waist band, and a tank top with my bra straps showing, bright blue eyeshadow and spiked hair. My DH would wear a wife-beater (I know, probably shouldn't say that, but I really don't know any other name for those white undershirts that are ribbed) or a white t-shirt with cigarettes rolled up in one sleeve. We would drink trash can punch and Keystone beer, and put a couch out on the front porch. Is that offensive?

    I suppose "poor man" would get mad at me for that? Too bad. Dressing up for a theme party is fun because even though stereotypes aren't always true, most of the time
    there is a grain of truth in them.

    Oh yeah, and what is the big deal that the county commissioner was at the party?

  15. Brenda Says:
    1226567456

    I personally think that we who have had to do without and scrimp and save, are not hurting as much as those who have had everything. We are used to this. It's they who haven't had to worry, are finding themselves in financial difficulties and they are having trouble dealing with it!?????
    I might be a peasant but I'm a happy peasant!
    Rock on, Ima!

  16. Apprentice Fun-Frugalist Says:
    1226569771

    Poor Person/Who... how old are you ? Are you 8 yrs old ? Honestly, I have only read two of your posts and you are BORING me to tears !!

    Grow up and get a life.

    I guess the best way to deal with you, as with any sulking troublemaker, is just to ignore you.

  17. campfrugal Says:
    1226579476

    "Get A Life" was the other name she/he used to hide behind.

  18. Ima saver Says:
    1226586908

    this is in response to WHO. We have a county commissioner here in this county who puts up with a lot of abuse. The local two forums here do nothing but complain about him and call him a liar.
    I have NEVER once posted anything about the commissioner. I have been to a few parties and met him but I have no real opinion about him and his duties. I am sorry that I ever mentioned that he attended this same party as I did.
    Why do you people find it so necessary to stalk me from forum to forum, constantly changing your names? I should mean nothing to you. I don't do anything to hurt you.
    All we do on this forum is post about our lives and what we do to save money and invest. That really does not seem to interest anyone on my local forums cause they do NOT save their money or learn how to invest. I would be happy to help anyone local to learn how to invest in mutual funds or open a roth ira. No one ever asks me to help, even when I offer.

  19. get a life Says:
    1226587768

    and julie, the more of your post that i read, the more holes i find in your "stories". you sit here and condemn people who are having to live in their cars cause they have no money left over to save, yet you say you grew up on $25 a month?

    how does someone who had such a "poor" life not understand how someone would not have any money left over to save... was your mother able to save money after only living on $25 a month? doubt it...

  20. campfrugal Says:
    1226588700

    Oh, I never said my husband was "worthless", but you are.

  21. Snoopycool Says:
    1226593917

    "i like to over use punctuation. I havnt fully observed..."

    Clearly.

  22. Ima saver Says:
    1226594963

    I do not condemn people who live in their car. I merely told about an article that I read that talked about people in California having to live in their cars. I feel very sorry for them.
    When we lived on $25 a month, I do not know if my mother saved anything or not. I doubt she could. But, when I started working for $3 a day, you can believe that I saved most of the money to pay for clothing, shoes and school supplies. But, I also opened up a savings account at age 12 and always put something in it, every week.
    When I worked at a savings and loan place, we always encourage children to put into their accounts, no matter how small the deposit was.

  23. ceejay74 Says:
    1226601826

    Um...Jeffrey, is there anything we can do to stop this?

  24. Ima saver Says:
    1226603651

    I can delete all the negative comments or I can just delete the entire blog. What would you like me to do?

  25. Delete away Says:
    1226606413

    Can you delete your presence in Blairsville while you're at it?

  26. Broken Arrow Says:
    1226607021

    Ima, this person (or people) is classically trolling. And a pretty sad attempt at that. I've seen better. No, honestly, I have.

    They're just trying to make you upset and ruin your day. They're probably just jealous or something.

    You've been poor before, and you're not being mean to anyone. So, if you're crude like me, just point at them and laugh. I am.

    But seriously though, the best rule on internet is to simply Don't Feed the Trolls. The more you give them, and the sadder they try, the more it may upset you, and the more their sad attempts seem like victories.

    Ignoring them is best.

    I don't recommend to delete the entry or the blog. Because the moment you delete what they write, you will not have documented record of what they have written and how things have transpired. They become moving targets and will even deny things that they have indeed said.

    Plus, deleting your presence here will give them exactly what they want, which is to tear down whatever you have created. They want to break you and laugh at it... though I do have to say this is about the worst attempt I've seen anywhere. Sad.

    Seriously, this is no big deal. I say just step away from this and enjoy the rest of your day knowing that you have friends here who believe in you. Even passerbys with a neutral perspective will see that you've done no wrong here and support you.

  27. lizajane Says:
    1226608823

    ZZZZZZZZZZZ. I enjoyed reading about the party, it sounded like fun, and I knew there was nothing mean-spirited about it. I don't care if the county commissioner or the mayor or the police chief or the president or president-elect went to it! They were having fun with friends!! This thread has been hijacked into the twilight zone for no good reason, and it's so far from what I normally see on this site which is helpful friendly quality advice and opinions. I'd appreciate it if our visitor(s) would be more considerate and mature. You can respectfully disagree with something, but respect is the key word. Thank you.

  28. gruntina Says:
    1226617692

    Hi Ima,

    I am giving you a smile and enjoy the rest of your day!

  29. Wonderlake653 Says:
    1226633487

    Ima - don't give up on us who enjoy your blog and have learned a great deal. Resist the urge to try to reason with the individuals who blatantly insult your postings, these individuals are probably in prison and are on their 30 minute break in the law library surfing the net. Ignore them move on. If you respond "thank you for sharing and enjoying your freedom of speech" they will soon get the message that they are not getting any attention from you or anyone else and they will move on to another blog. This is a big universe, the internet. Right now they are getting off on knowing they are "bugging" you and have upset you ... ignore, blow them an imaginary kiss and do the dance of joy ...

  30. baselle Says:
    1226892360

    BA's advice is best: Don't feed the troll. And your blog buddies know the difference in comments between honest discussion and trolling.

  31. Saving Says:
    1227142076

    sicily yoder has had this happen, too; please don't leave here, for I like reading your posts. Stalkers don't have much to do. Ignore them.

  32. lisasayzhi Says:
    1227722505

    I support you also Ima. Just ignore them like everyone's recommending. You have plenty of people here who like and support you so don't even bother to respond to the trolls.

  33. MarianneJ Says:
    1227740312

    Just wanted to add my support also, Ima!!! Rock on!

  34. sharmanl Says:
    1227987827

    Hi Ima,

    I LOVE your post, and DO NOT want you to be bullied by some "losers." Please do not go anywhere. Haters will hate, because they are not happy. You seem very happy, and you have helped a lot of people.

    Continue to ROCK ON!!!

  35. whitestripe Says:
    1228006228

    ima: don't listen to anyone who says nasty things about you. i think it's hypocritical and quite frankly, a little sad and hilarious at the same time, that someone can acuse you of 'lacking in life' and yet they follow you around and write abusive messages to you on your blog. obviously they have to try and make someone miserable so they feel a little better about themselves.
    i know you and your husband have worked hard to get where you are, and everyone who supports you on this blog thinks so too. like others have said on this thread: they're just jealous. and they can go on and on denying it, and abusing you more and more, but the fact is that they've lashed out at you and they obviously have some issues to deal with.

    i feel a bit sorry for them really. imagine living the type of life where you stalk someone on the internet and type nasty things to them, just so they can feel something? i mean, gosh, it's a bit of a sad life when you think about it.

    so i am thinking... everyone should do whatever it is they do: pray, visualise, dance, meditate etc so that this person will eventually realise that they are missing something in their lives that cannot be filled with trying to make other people hurt.

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