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Another plea for money!

November 17th, 2015 at 11:36 am

Yesterday, my husband received a call on his cell phone from his brother's wife. He was on his way to his job. (He is a builder)
This is amazing, because SIL has never called us, even once, in the 40 years we have known her.
She is very quiet and never talks unless you directly ask her a question. This drove my MIL crazy!
She has also NEVER invited anyone over to her house.
We have never been inside of their house and neither had my FIL and MIL (or his live in girlfriend after MIL passed) When they would spend Thanksgiving and Christmas together, BIL, SIL and their kids would always come over to FIL's house. Poor FIL's girlfriend always had to do all the cooking, cleaning and the dishes. She was in her 80's and that is a lot of work for an elderly lady.

She called to ask for money to pay the cremation bill. When my husband suggested that they just pay a few hundred dollars a month until they sold some of the estate, she stated that they did not have a few hundred, they lived paycheck to paycheck! (He owns his own business and makes over $100,000 a year plus she works full time too.)

They inherited a house full of antiques; collectibles from a life time. They could sell them, the house (which is a duplex) and there are four antique packards. (from the 40's and 50')

Dh told her he would talk to me and let her know.
Last night we wrote a letter explaining that we did not feel like we should pay for the final expenses.
We have paid part of the house taxes for 15 years and for all the housecleaning this year. We are not asking for any money. DH (nor I) was even mentioned in the will.

I am hoping that BIL and SIL can catch up on all their outstanding debt once they sell the house and that they will learn a lesson. They need to learn how to live within their means and advoid debt.

Just last month, husband's brother went on a 2 week fishing trip to Canada that cost him $3500. (which he put on credit cards) They live far beyond their means and our bailing them out will not teach them a thing.

It is sad when this happens when a parent passes. Unfortunately, I think this is all too common.
When my mother died, my sister, who was 9 years my elder, (I was 32) moved into my mother's house the following week and changed all the locks. I never got any of my mother or father's possessions, not even a picture. I know pictures would mean a lot to my husband right now.
Now, my husband feels like he has no family left. Fortunately, he has me. He told me the other day that I was his best friend. That means a lot to me.

15 Responses to “Another plea for money!”

  1. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    Oh, my god. I'm sorry but that brother and his mate have to be some kind of sick people. There is something wrong with them. And to think this is sort of a repeat of what happened to you when your own mother died. Just what is wrong with people?....Well, Julie, I'm glad you and you husband have each other.

  2. CB in the City Says:

    You have each other, and that's a lot! Try not to let the actions of others hurt you. They are clearly in the wrong and not worth your while.

  3. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    Wow. That is just incredible. I'm sorry you and your DH are having to deal with this.

  4. creditcardfree Says:

    At least we don't need to convince to say no to your SIL.

  5. Mrs. Frugalista Says:

    Your hubby's brother should pay the burial cost with the same credit card he used to pay $3500 for a fishing trip to Canada. Unbelievable!

  6. Miz Pat Says:

    I understand. This has got to hurt. God bless you dear.

  7. livingalmostlarge Says:

    No way. The estate should pay for their burial expenses. If they have a house to sell then they estate can afford it. If they can't front it then they can borrow from somewhere and then pay it back. Any estate this is not an unreasonable thing to pay for.

  8. Thrifty Ray Says:

    Im so sorry for you and your hub Julie- I think you are right to stick to your guns. They are being beyond insensitive by asking repeatedly for something they should never have even considered. I hope your husband is able to find peace of heart inspite of the circumstances!

  9. snafu Says:

    It seems BIL is so accustomed to having someone pay he'll just continue asking. There will be probate fees and the government will want their share of the estate. I don't know what your letter included but I hope it explained that the estate pays all outstanding costs. If there are more requests I'd begin billing the estate for whatever sums you've already paid for municipal taxes and home care for the house for however many years.

  10. LuckyRobin Says:

    When they purposely did not invite your husband to the memorial service, they forfeited everything. They have been nothing but deliberately hurtful and deserve not one red cent from you two.

  11. VS_ozgirl Says:

    It's so annoying that people who work hard to do the right thing with their money are always expected to foot the bill of people who blow everything cent to live for the moment, that is so rude. Good for you for sticking up for yourselves.

  12. pjmama Says:

    How awful - it's terrible that financial matters are something to be dealt with in a time of grief. It's entirely inappropriate for his family to act that way on top of it. I agree with everyone else - good for you for sticking to your guns.

  13. ceejay74 Says:

    What Robin said. And everyone else. Take comfort in one another and your memories of FIL, and let these heartless people slip out of your lives. ((hugs))

  14. Annoymouse Says:

    Julie, it sounded very suspicious to me that BIL read the will AND it all fell in his favor. I wonder if you should dig deeper into that topic before accepting what they say.

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