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XX and XXX

February 25th, 2007 at 05:51 pm

women who frequent a local forum forum that I am on.
They don't like the fact that I talk about saving money.
They check out what I say on this forum to see if they can find out anything to put on the local forum to critize me.
They did that today!
One is thirty two years old. I owned my own house free and clear, when I was 32 years old, she doesn't.
They critize that I am not frugal because I own a corvette.
I own a corvette because I have been frugal all my life. I think it is pretty childish to have someone follow you around on the different forums. What an exciting life they must have!!

58 Responses to “XX and XXX”

  1. Thrifty Ray Says:
    1172428274

    I hope they read this latest entry and recognize themselves in it. And if they are reading my reply, I would say to them that they should be inspired by someone who has worked hard her whole life and is now enjoying the rewards of careful budgeting...be it a corvette or a beautiful home or whatever---You clearly are a budget conscious woman who knows how to save so that she and her husband can enjoy the things they want in life.

    Envy is an emotional cancer that is best cured by gratitude of ones own bounty.

    I agree totally, it is a sad sign of ones life when they must stalk someone online to come up with something to complain about. Phooey on XX and XXX.

  2. Amber Says:
    1172429475

    I am sorry to hear that, as Dave Ramsey says, " live like no one else so that we can live like no one els" the point is you're right you save now for later, you make sensible financial decisions now so that you can live like no one else later.

  3. nance Says:
    1172429526

    There will always be people who like to gossip, are envious, and are generally negative. I wouldn't waste any energy caring about what they say or do.
    You know what works for you, and that is what matters.

  4. rob62521 Says:
    1172431647

    It sounds like they really envy you and since they can't do as well as you do, they have to criticize.

  5. tinapbeana Says:
    1172433648

    well, reaping, i did go to blairsville.com

    the fact that today 2/25 admin saw fit to remove posts and replies that were off topic in the 'what frugal thing did you do' thread implies that the posts that were made were not appropriate. the fact that 'coosa creek' (who 'sounds' like ima to me, so that's my assumption) thanked admin for this action implies that she was not the flamer in these inappropriate posts, but the flamee.

    not sure who you are, reaping, but perhaps you should lookup the definition of 'frugal'. it doesn't mean living without luxuries, it doesn't mean hoarding one's money, and it doesn't mean living with nothing. the main meaning is spending and saving money wisely.

    fru·gal /ˈfrugəl/ [froo-guhl]
    1. economical in use or expenditure; prudently saving or sparing; not wasteful: a frugal manager.
    2. entailing little expense; requiring few resources; meager; scanty: a frugal meal.

  6. Ima saver Says:
    1172433658

    Well, at least they joined this forum so they can criticize here too. Too bad they won't take the time to read some of your great ideas on saving, budgeting, the $20 challenge, etc. They might learn something.
    But we all know people like that, that think saving and budget are foolish things to do. People that live paycheck to paycheck.

  7. living_in_oz Says:
    1172436582

    Ima,

    I'm not sure I would want to frequent that forum anymore if I were you. These "girls" sound very childish. I wouldn't want to waste my time corresponding with them. Stick around here where people like you!Smile

  8. Frugal Person Says:
    1172437005

    By the definition that tinapbeana provided, it appears that most of the people that Ima Saver is talking so badly about are, in fact Frugal. On the otherhand, one of the definitions of "cheap" is "stingy; miserly:" I don't find any indication of anyone on that forum being cheap...except Ima Saver.

    But then, what do I know. Only what she posts for the rest of the world to read.

  9. denisentexas Says:
    1172437272

    I believe that unless you ask for a person's opinion on a matter, there really isn't a reason for them to criticize, especially if it's not constructive. Even if Ima is "cheap" or, heaven forbid, "stingy", why should others care? From everything I've seen posted on her blog, she's quite frugal and I wanna grow up to be just like her. Wink

  10. Ima saver Says:
    1172437500

    Well, I don't consider myself as talking badly about them. I only said that most people on the forum are not interested in saving or budgeting. Then I used an example of how someone bought a pair of pants on sale for $74 or something. On this forum, we would think that was way too expensive.

  11. Nic Says:
    1172437605

    I was called cheap....right up until I retired, bought a second home and moved my family across a continent. We now have more time together, I'm able to work p/t and do what I want the rest of the time. My partner can't thank me enough since it was her dream to live in the SW too.
    This is all due to watching where and how I spent my $$$$.
    There will ALWAYS be someone who is envious,coveting,etc. It's human nature.
    So you keep on doing what ever works for you. You rock! And you're STILL my "shero!"

  12. Frugal Person Says:
    1172437791

    She is just the person I would never want to grow up like. Sorry, but she isn't a roll-model that I would ever like to follow or to teach others to follow.

  13. scfr Says:
    1172437849

    "Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius."

  14. icantsave Says:
    1172438416

    Frugal Person you say that you would never follow but here you are following her to this forum. Sounds like several from her other forum have followed her here as well. Hopefully it's for the good and not just to bash her. You could really learn a lot from Ima.

  15. Ima saver Says:
    1172438838

    I wonder if we have ever met? It is hard to get an opinion of someone if you have never really talked to that person.

  16. Frugal Person Says:
    1172439157

    Actually, I have learn quite a bit from her. But none of it is worth passing to future generations. Personally, I think she has a very, very lonely life and is to be pitied for the life that she portrays on that other site.

  17. Ima saver Says:
    1172439412

    Have we met? Thank you for your pity! I would rather have you pity me than hate me.

  18. Frugal Person Says:
    1172439465

    Actually, you can form an opinion of someone you have never met by what they write and how they write in an open forum. When you go back over months and years of posting, the personallity of that person does come out. It may not be complete, but you can form an opinion. In this type of setting you are what you write.

  19. icantsave Says:
    1172439513

    Ima dont you realize that it's one of the people from your other forum. They are harrassing you here now. I think they need a life. Sunday's are a day of rest and worship and not bashing people.

  20. Ima saver Says:
    1172439851

    Oh yes, I know that. There was another one earlier who got deleted. I really think they are making a big deal over nothing. Saying a group of people are not that interested in saving and budgeting is not bashing them. It just happens that the majority of people really are not interested in saving and investing. Mostly because they don't know how to get started. That is the way I feel about computers. I don't know anything about them. It is not bashing to call me computer illerate cause I am.

  21. Nic Says:
    1172439856

    Frugal Person,do you have a blog that we can learn from?

  22. ozzy gurl Says:
    1172440464

    Ima, you're a wonderful person. I wouldn't even respond to these people. If they have nothing to feed off of, they'll find something or someone else to pick on. People like that aren't happy unless they can be negative about something. They aren't even worth the energy of your thoughts.

  23. Ima saver Says:
    1172440896

    Thank you for your nice comments. It really does help. although I have no living relatives, I do feel like I have a fun life. Heck, just the past 6 months, I won the dance contest at the 50's party, the costume contest at the Halloween party and 2nd place in the $20 challenge. I think life is great!!

  24. Frugal Person Says:
    1172441012

    Ima, you say that most of the people on the other forum are not interested in saving and investing. Are you so sure of that? From what I have seen of these people, they are hard working people who are interested in putting food on their tables, clothes on their backs and the backs of their children and a roof over their heads. To me, that is being frugle. None of them have a Vette sitting at home, I don't think any of them have a antique car sitting at home, few, if any have a 2500/3000 square foot house to live in.

    How many of your friends here have jobs that pay $8.00 and have children to raise? How many husbands have jobs that MIGHT pay $18.00 per hour and have a 1, 2, 3, 4 or more children, a mortgage to pay, put food on the table, put clothing on the backs of their family, etc. If more people were like some of them, we would live in a much better place. At least they care for their family AND take care of their famlies. There are MANY more things in life that are MUCH more important than MONEY.

    I have seen you say over and over again on the other forum where you and your husband go out and eat almost every night. I have never heard where that is economically sound or frugal.

  25. denisentexas Says:
    1172441086

    Ima, regardless of what others say I still wanna grow up to be like you. Wink I think you're dandy!

  26. Ima saver Says:
    1172441768

    Frugal, I agree. But you have to remember that we went thru the same things when I was younger. When my husband and I married, he made $4 an hour and I worked all week for $89 a week. However, I always tried to save 10% of all we made. When we moved here, the only job I could get was a waitress making $2.01 an hour and tips were terrible. I still tried to save 10% of that. Then I discovered mutual funds and began investing.
    I am sure most of the folks on the forum are hard working and doing the best that they can. I have often offered to help them get their working teenage children into mutual funds at a young age. Instead, their kids are spending $200 a month on telephone bills. (one of the kids said that)
    I am just trying to say that everyone can save a little, even $5 a week would help. On this forum, we try to come up with ways to save other small amounts. Like washing clothes in cold water or turning off the water heater. That way we are able to put more money into our mutual funds or our roths.
    You have no idea how many waitresses I have encouraged to start saving and open a roth ira. I have given them all kinds of paper work from the mutual fund companies. I only want to help, not hurt anyone.

  27. nance Says:
    1172442466

    Frugal Person:
    You might be in a stage of life, where you are struggling, and I know that is hard, because I've been there and done that. Ima Saver, is in her sixties, and has " paid her dues". If you are able to learn some ideas on how to economize and plan for the future, you might be in a place, when your kids are grown, to eat out often, have a car that isn't economic, but is fun, and live like no one else. Don't begrudge someone who has more that you, who is in a much different stage of life. If you plan for the future, you will be there some day too. She could probably tell you some stories about how rough she had it thirty years ago. We can all learn from each other.

  28. Frugal Person Says:
    1172442601

    All that is well and good, however, you try to push yourself where it isn't wanted. May I offer this as a suggestion? (I will anyway)

    Leave all your frugal savings advise here and don't try to push your standards and ideas on someone else. Invite them to your blog or some other site. You might find more resectiveness that way. You constantly come on like you are superior/better than they are. You brag and brag and brag about every nickle you save. I know it turns me off and alot of other people also. Is that what you are trying to do? I thought you were trying to help them? Direct them here, if they come well and good. If they don't, at least you tired, BUT then drop it!

    I think from todays reactions, you are not making friends. And have made some who are not friends.

  29. Ima saver Says:
    1172442607

    You are right Nance. I had it tough when I was young. I had to go to work at 12 cause my father died. Money was real tight for many many years, but I tried to always save something. My best friend won't listen to me about saving, so I am not bashing her or anyone else.

  30. Ima saver Says:
    1172442787

    I don't mean to brag about every nickle I save. we savers are a funny lot, we get excited over little things like that. I see what you are saying and I won't talk about any frugal things that I do on the other forum any more. I hope that will solve the problem over there. I would erase the entire topic, "what frugal thing did you do today" but I think only the admin. can do that. I just won't post anymore!

  31. LuckyRobin Says:
    1172443016

    Gracious, Ima. I have to say the person harrassing you is right about one thing. You can form an opinion of someone based on what they post in an open forum. I can't say I have a good opinion of her (I'm assuming its a her, the snarkiness has a female tone to it). I wonder if she realizes the people you have helped financially? I wonder if she realizes how much of your life you spent waiting tables for less than minimum wage and saving your money so that when you got to retirement age you could live the way you wanted? I wonder if she realizes how catty and spiteful and jealous she comes across as? I wonder if she realizes that her opinion holds little value here where we genuinely care about each other and show compassion on a daily basis? I feel very sorry for her. Her life must be so empty and meaningless for her to behave the way she does. She must live in an emotional wasteland to try to bring others down with such callousness. I would not want to live in her mind, filled with such misery. Either that or she can't stand not being the center of attention on the other forum so comes here to try to be the center of attention on your blog where she is neither welcome nor wanted.

  32. Ima saver Says:
    1172443416

    Oh lucky robin, don't be so hard on her. It is hard for us with our "saving mindset" to understand that we must be boring people to death with all our advice on saving, budgeting, etc.
    I think she thinks I am trying to rub it in or something and I am honestly not. I just want to show people that you don't have to make the big bucks in order to save.
    I think she is a nice person and also very intelligent. I just need to quit boring the people on the other forum.
    I want to set this straight, we are not rich. My husband earns $25 an hour just like most builders in this are and that is now. For most of his working years he made $10-$15 an hour here. He has to spend a fortune each year buying tools.

  33. tinapbeana Says:
    1172443432

    you know what? we are (for the most part) all grown men and women here. shouldn't we act like it?

    if you belong to a forum focused on X and someone speaks about a topic Y that causes unrest or makes people uncomfortable, then by all means ask for discussions to please remain on topic or create a specific arena for touchy subjects. but, remain on forum X. it is poor form to follow the person to a community that is in fact focused on topic Y and insert yourself with no intent to contribute to the community, but instead do nothing but point out how topic Y causes people to feel bad on the topic X forum.

    as an adult, we should all realize we have no control over the actions and reactions of anyone but our selves. if someone says something that you find offensive, belittling, or upsetting in the grocery store, by all means let them know it there. but, do you get in your car and follow them to the drug store so you can let them know why, or continue the conversation? no, because it would be absurd, childish, and unseemly. why is it acceptable online?

    life is hard and money is tight, it's pretty much that way for everyone. the whole point of THIS online community is to find ways to save a little so we can enjoy life now AND 50 years down the road. please feel free to participate if you think you can learn something OR help someone else learn something. just because your situation is worse than mine or better than mine doesn't make either one of us better than the other. just because i make a good salary doesn't mean i'm not frugal, nor does it mean i'm a spendthrift. i am who i am, just as you are who you are. we have people here who are exceedingly well off and those that are unemployed and literally unable to make ends meet. we have those that are debt free and those that are facing loosing their homes. we have retirees and teenagers, and everything in between. that's the beauty of savingadvice.com.

  34. nance Says:
    1172444333

    When some people are very unhappy with their own lives, they try to feel superior by trying to make someone else feel inferior. That is sad. We need to take responsibility for our own situations. Being petty and attacking another's success does not make one more successful.
    There is a big difference between being frugal and being "cheap" and "stingy". A lot of the people here can afford to be more generous because they are frugal. I can help family members and sometimes friends because I have been frugal, and am not in debt up to my eyeballs. Ima has talked about helping out a young waitress, with gifts of money. How does that equate to being "cheap", or "stingy"? I don't want to attack you. I think you may be going through some hard times, but don't waste your time or energy, being so angry and spitefull. It won't improve your situation.

  35. reaping what we sow Says:
    1172444514

    is it nice to brag that you gave to someone less fortunante? Gratifying to be patted on the back that you did?

  36. LuckyRobin Says:
    1172444629

    Actually, that was me going easy on her. If she is, as you say, a nice person, than I apologize. But she has not come across this way on these pages. Like she said, its easy to form an opinion based on what is said and I certainly did. If you have the grace to believe she actually means well, than that is all to the good. But it is always my opinion that if you don't like what a specific poster has to say on any forum, don't read them. Certainly don't follow them to another forum to nag them about what you said on the first one.

    Ima, you are the age of my mother and if anyone spoke to her as disrespectfully as this woman has done to you, I would leap to her defense the same way. Just where I'm coming from. That and you have been nothing but kind and helpful here, and I don't like seeing anyone tear you down.

  37. LuckyRobin Says:
    1172444764

    Reaping--there is a difference between telling and bragging.

  38. Ima saver Says:
    1172446100

    I do not know who Frugal is. I am sure I know who reaping is by her english. She and I have had issues and we just need to agree that we disagree about almost everything.

  39. nance Says:
    1172446471

    Whoa! Lets just call a truce here, and all go to our own corners.
    Enough said.
    Is anyone but me going to skip the Oscars tonight and read a good book?

  40. LuckyRobin Says:
    1172446571

    I'll skip the Oscars, I don't have cable or satellite by choice.

  41. Ima saver Says:
    1172447653

    I am not going to watch the oscars either. This is a tough town to live in if you are not a native. Doesn't give my home town a very good name. Have a wonderful evening!!

  42. AutumnxButterfly Says:
    1172455992

    I am not going to read all this, and Ima I know you don't know me well, as I am still semi-new around here.
    I just want to say that Frugal, whoever you are, Ima can afford the things she has because she IS frugal. You could seriously learn a thing or two from her. Jealous much?
    And Ima, I would LOVE for you to teach me about mutual funds. I am kinda young I think. LOL
    You just shake the haters off Big Grin {{{HUGS}}}

  43. Nic Says:
    1172457905

    We're skipping the Oscars...I was fortunate enough to get an extra couple of hours at the clinic, so I'm toast. Instead, my partner and I are headed to Showtime....Smile

  44. tinapbeana Says:
    1172458678

    the oscars are tonight? boy, i am really outta the loop... dh & i are watching full metal jacket until 10p, them switching to the 'viewers spoof discovery' on the discovery channel.

  45. reaping what we sow Says:
    1172460452

    Jealous much?
    And Ima, I would LOVE for you to teach me about mutual funds. I am kinda young I think. LOL
    You just shake the haters off {{{HUGS}}}

    Not exactly! but have fun! Smile much

  46. littlemama Says:
    1172460928

    We all have good times and bad times. We all get thru them. Some people prepare for them....and some don't. Most people I know have had it rough at one time or another, but it gets better as we learn. Ima, I guess some people don't learn as well as others Smile. I believe you do like I do...make sacrifices in some areas so you can "splurge" in others. I once was ridiculed for buying an expensive bottle of perfume (that I wanted for over a year before I bought it.), but shop at thrift stores on ocassion for clothes. Oh well, to each his own. Don't let 'em get you down.

  47. kimiko Says:
    1172463447

    Man, all the attacks make one wonder what type of people these are. If Ima's opinions are turning you off, then don't read them, she didn't hold you down and force them down your throats. Use the time you took to track her activities on the web to go and make some money and save them. But beside the scary stalking and bashing, from what I saw mentioned, purchasing a $74 pants isn't frugal at all, especially when these people claim that they're struggling.

  48. AutumnxButterfly Says:
    1172463532

    "Jealous much?
    And Ima, I would LOVE for you to teach me about mutual funds. I am kinda young I think. LOL
    You just shake the haters off {{{HUGS}}}

    Not exactly! but have fun! much"

    I do and will continue to. Thanks for the concern Big Grin

  49. reaping what we sow Says:
    1172464470

    dahlin.. you I am not concern.. just well wishing..

    you keep building things up with whatever names ya can ok.. ya hear.. take care!

  50. boomeyers Says:
    1172472666

    Julie, I have know you for a year on this blog and I would proudly be your friend any day!
    I do struggle to pay bills and I find NO jealousy toward Julie, her home or her CAR! Her husband busts his butt for what they have and Julie makes sure the bills get paid and the money gets saved and invested. What a wise wife she is. And if they enjoy eating out every day, that is fine! Why buy the food at the store and cook it, if you enjoy getting out and dining with others you enjoy talking to? I'm sure a $100 a week grocery bill evens out to a $100 a week resturant bill and if that is something they are willing to splurge on, who cares?
    I agree if someone is talking about Y on an X blog, don't read it! I skip over lots of stuff on our blog (no offense to anyone! :-) ) We have such a variety of things to choose from, don't read what you don't want too! Thats why we live in America! Freedom of choice! Save your own money and go buy your own Corvette! :-)

  51. Lux Living Frugalis Says:
    1172494678

    ImaSaver, Lrjohnson and Tightwad Kitty are my role-models here for current and future behavior. I love these ladies BECAUSE they are willing to share their experiences and daily lives with us.

    BECAUSE their experiences and GENEROSITY matter in their world to those that love them close at hand and because they are willing to share them here with us 'virtual' strangers. I've already learned so much from them!

    Hang Tough Ima - you make me proud when I can be frugal just like you and you make me proud when you enjoy your current rewards that are built on a foundation of careful prudent behaviour thru the years. Enjoy your successes right out loud here with us ALL YOU WANT because it is seeing that the results of our labors do reap a future harvest, that causes MANY of us here to wish to emulate you.

    Keep On Trucking Ima Saver!!

  52. Broken Arrow Says:
    1172498476

    51 responses! I thought there might have been a glitch in the Matrix, but there isn't one! Woah! Big Grin

    Right or wrong, agree or disagree, it is indeed a very interesting and lively discussion here.

    It's also interesting to see the other side of the fence on this as well, good or bad.

  53. sicilyyoder Says:
    1172507230

    I, being a Christian author, am speaking from heart- Ima inspires all of us on the forum. I do school tours and try to get children to save too- I try to be an influence on everyone- just like Ima. Maybe this person doesn't really understand who Ima really is- the great, helpful, kind-hearted person that she is. We on this forum frequently chat with her about her posts and she comments nice things about ours- we are a community- and I'm glad. It made me really sad to see a negative post- lets all team together to save money. Its nice to have some things you want, like a nice car or watch, etc. Even if we eat out every night, we can still slash costs elsewhere- I'm sure this person doesn't know enough about Ima's hard-working husband who even working long hours, by himslef on Thanksgiving- he deserves to go out to eat and enjoy the evening with her. I basically think that this person doesn't really know Ima and what exactly she, and we here at the forum, are trying to do. I got my social security statement yesterday and saw I made 200,000 over my lifetime. If I had saved 10%, that would have been 20,000- I can't even figure the interest.

  54. Carolina Bound Says:
    1172511903

    Whoa! I'm just checking in, and I'm shocked! I have NEVER seen anything approaching this level of cattiness on this board. Frugal Person and reaping, let me be blunt and say your opinons about Ima Saver are not welcome here. This is a forum on frugal living, and we support each other, and we share our struggels AND our successes. Ima is a treasured member of our group. She is a wonderful example of someone who has used frugal living methods to achieve her goals. If her goals are not the same as yours, SO WHAT? If you want to be part of this community, tell us what YOU"RE doing; we're all old enough to form our own opinons on others, thank you very much!

    Ima, we love you here. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. Many hugs!!!!

  55. monkeymama Says:
    1172513735

    You know what IMA, everyone in my family has fared VERY well financially, even the ones who don't make a lot of money. So I really identify with you.

    I have a relative who maybe makes $20-$30k/year at best (no college degree) in a very pricey area - owns his home about outright AND he drives a CORVETTE! YEs it is possible. You know what, he has never spent a dime on much else, and he works ALL The time. I *get* you and your Corvette. I Think this is why I enjoy your posts so much, you would fit well in our family. I know firsthand you don't need to make six figures to get there.

    On my local forums people get annoyed with me too, usually because they assume I am already rich, didn't have to work very hard, etc. Their loss. I always imagine in my head myself sitting on the beach sipping margaritas at 55 or something, when I make other financial sacrifices, what do I care that no one else thinks this life is possible. It rubs me the wrong way when people don't think it is possible to get ahead driving used cars, or working a 2nd job to save up money, etc. Sad thing is they lose, not me.

    Unfortunately I have seen a lot of cattiness and it always comes down to jealousy plain and simple. I have better things to worry about like caring for my family, enjoying life, giving back to the community, then to participate in this kind of cattiness. So be it. Try try try not to let it get to you, and you are lucky to have us too. Wink
    ((HUGS)))

  56. frugalmomof1 Says:
    1172524171

    You are an inspiration to many people, so don't let a few jealous people from your local forum get you down!

  57. Ima saver Says:
    1172529186

    Carolina bound, they are not from this board. They may have signed up just to get to me, but other than to see what I am saying, they will not take any advice from any of us. They think I am showing off. Me, in my 5 year old $20 jeans, with never my hair or nails done in my life, is showing off!! The people on this board are wonderful people, rich or poor or in between.

  58. lieweheksie Says:
    1172597860

    Ima, just to say thansk for all the advice and wisdome that you offer- I'm half your age and I think you seem to be doing very well- makes me not afraid to get older
    as Tina says this forum is about saving $- if we disagree about other things we should let it slide otherwise no one would ever be able to have a sane exchange-

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